Title: Let Yourself Go

Author: ???

Email: ???

Rating: PG

Challenge: CLFF23 Challenge Prompt: Someone can sing better than they can talk Selected song – ‘Night and Day' performed by John Barrowman and Kevin Klein

Notes: A huge thank you for danceswithgary for helping me work through some problems I had with this, and for doing a prompt and excellent beta on it

Summary: Clark has been trying for weeks to tell Lex how he feels

Clark glanced at his watch again, and sighed. It was a rare occasion that he was on time for anything, and it was even rarer that Lex was late. It was at times like these he wished that he had a cell phone. Super-hearing was a one-way process, and he didn’t really have any way of asking Lex whether he was okay.

He looked at his watch again, and was just contemplating looking for a phone booth when he heard Lex’s car pull up outside The Talon.

“Clark.” Lex greeted him with a smile as he slid into the seat opposite him. “I apologise for keeping you waiting.”

“No problem. Is everything all right? I was starting to get worried.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Lex replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Just work. I won’t bore you with the details. Can I get you a coffee?”

“No thanks. I just finished one. You really don’t want to see me high on caffeine, trust me.”

Lex smiled as he stood up to order his drink. “Well, I’m sure it would be interesting if nothing else.”

“That’s one way of putting it.”

Lex smiled and headed to the counter to order his coffee. Clark watched him, wondering if today would be the day. He’d decided weeks ago that it was time he told Lex how he really felt about him, but the right moment had never seemed to come up. In fact, he’d been waiting for the right moment for so long that he was wondering if it would ever present itself.

“You look deep in thought,” Lex remarked as he sat back down, steaming mug in hand. “Anything I should know about?”

Clark really hoped he was able to keep his cheeks from flushing. “Actually, I was just going to ask you if anything interesting was going on with you. It feels like ages since we’ve talked.”

Lex smirked as he took a sip of his coffee. “Clark, when anything interesting happens to me, it usually involves a head injury or an attempt on my life. I’d prefer things to be as interest free as possible. What about you? Made any progress in your attempts to woo Ms. Lang?”

Clark chuckled. “Lex, no one says ‘woo’ anymore, but no, there hasn’t been any progress. To be honest. I’m not sure I want there to be.”

Lex leaned forward, intrigue burning in his eyes. “Really? I never imagined you would be the sort of person to give up on something you want. Or perhaps someone else has caught your eye?”

This time, Clark couldn’t prevent the blood from rushing to his face.

“Ah-hah!” Lex crowed triumphantly, a teasing smile on his face. “Come on, Clark, we’re best friends. You can tell me. Who is it? Chloe maybe?”

“Lex, c’mon,” Clark mumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it. Besides, I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way about me.”

“Clark, I’m absolutely positive you could change their mind, whoever this mystery person is.”

Clark had to smile at the way Lex made it sound like a fact. Maybe there was hope after all.

“I dunno,” he said, testing the waters even further. “They’re kind of out of my league.”

“No such thing,” Lex replied. “If there’s one thing my father taught me that I actually listened to it’s that you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.”

“You really think so?”

“I do. Besides, any girl would have to be out of their mind to turn you down, Clark. You’re something special.”

Clark could feel himself grinning like an idiot but he didn’t care. “Lex, I need to tell you something.”

His smile faded as Lex looked at his watch and frowned. “Clark, I’m really sorry, I have to attend a meeting at the plant in a few minutes. Listen, why don’t you come over to the mansion tomorrow, and we’ll play some pool. You can tell me whatever you want then.”

“I’d love to.”

He watched as Lex drained the last of his coffee and headed out to his car.

“It’s a date,” he added softly, smiling to himself.

* * *

This time, Lex kept Clark waiting for over an hour, and it was made even worse by the fact that Lex’s servants kept asking him if he needed anything. Usually, Lex just let him raid the kitchen whenever he wanted, and being waited on by Lex’s staff just made him feel uncomfortable and out of place. It was yet another reminder of what totally different worlds he and Lex came from, even if you ignored the fact that he was from another planet.

“Really, I’m fine,” he insisted after being asked for the tenth time whether he wanted anything to eat or drink. “Do you know how much longer Lex is going to be?”

“I’m sorry, sir. Mr Luthor simply instructed us to take care of you until he arrived. He gave no indication of when that would be.”

He hated being called ‘sir’. It made him sound much older and richer than he was, but despite insisting to everyone that they call him Clark, no one seemed to be listening.

“Maybe I should just go.”

“Clark, I can only apologise again,” Lex said, choosing that exact moment to breeze into the room. “My project meeting overran. I hope you’ve been taken care of while you’ve been waiting.”

“Yeah,” Clark replied. He watched as Lex grabbed a bottle of water, and suddenly this seemed like a really bad idea. The warm feeling of hope he’d had after the previous day's conversation had faded into little more than a dim memory. Now all that was left was a cold, nervous churning in his stomach as he watched Lex set up the balls on the pool table.

Still, nerves aside, he couldn’t help but stare at the way Lex’s lips slid so naturally around the neck of the blue glass bottle as he drank. It was a miracle he was able to remain standing as half the blood in his body rushed to his cheeks and the other half to a very different part of his body.

“You want?” Lex asked, jogging Clark out of his thoughts with a jolt.

“What?”

Lex held out a bottle of water. “Do you want one? You were staring.”

“Oh!” Clark wasn’t sure it was possible to blush any more than he was right now. “Water, yeah. Great, thanks.”

He took the bottle with a grateful smile and turned his back while he drank from it, praying that Lex hadn’t seen him blushing.

“Is everything alright, Clark? You’re acting a little strange.”

So much for that.

Gulping down the water, he forced a smile into place before turning back to face Lex. “I’m fine, really. Sorry. Ready to play?”

He wasn’t sure whether Lex believed him or not, but he let the matter drop and took his first shot.

“So, any progress with your mystery girl? Anything I can help with?”

Lex really was the most persistent man Clark had ever met. “Lex, I told you yesterday I don’t want to talk about it. Can’t we just hang and play pool like we used to?”

“Sure,” Lex replied as he sank a ball into its pocket. “If that’s what you want. I was just trying to help. I want you to be happy.”

“I know and I appreciate it, but this is something I need to work through on my own.”

“Well, as long as you know you can come to me if you need to.”

“I know, Lex. Thanks.”

The game continued, and Clark kicked himself as another opportunity passed him by.

* * *

The next time they were due to meet, Lex didn’t show up at all and it wasn’t long before Clark was speeding to the mansion to check on Lex. If he had been anyone else it might have looked like Clark was overreacting, but this was Lex. Right now, he could be hurt, kidnapped, tortured or any combination of those things.

He had to push aside a barrage of horrific images of what could be happening to Lex as he ran. It was frightening how much could go through his head in a run that only actually took a couple of minutes.

He was greeted by Jarvis, Lex’s butler.

“I’m afraid Mr Luthor is unwell and will be unable to see you today.”

Clark’s heart sank. “What happened? Is he okay? Did someone hurt him?”

Jarvis’s face softened. “It’s just a regular cold, sir, don’t worry. I’ll tell him you stopped by.”

The door was closed in his face before Clark had time to protest. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Jarvis' explanation; he just wanted to see Lex for himself.

Getting through the mansion was easy. He was travelling so fast no one could see him. The cook was going to have to explain how one of her pies mysteriously jumped off the counter by itself, though.

Clark x-rayed the top floor of the mansion and quickly found Lex’s room. It was only when he got to the door that it occurred to him he’d never been into Lex’s room before.

He hovered outside, his raised fist a few inches away from the wooden door as he considered whether to go ahead with this or not. What if Lex was asleep? What if Lex started asking questions about how he had avoided Jarvis? What if Lex sent him away?

He was on the verge of changing his mind and leaving when he heard Lex coughing inside the room. He knocked and slipped inside before he could think about it any further.

The room was in darkness, the heavy drapes drawn to keep out the sunlight so that Lex could sleep. The light filtering in from the hallway bathed Lex’s face in a yellow glow which made him look almost jaundiced. Slowly, his head turned to the source of the light and he squinted.

“Clark?”

He closed the door and moved over to Lex’s bedside.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Jarvis said you were sick and I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything serious. Are you okay?”

Lex coughed again, and Clark winced as he heard it rattling in his lungs. “Stupid question. Obviously, you’re not okay.”

“S’just a cold. I’ll be fine. Sorry I missed our appointment today.”

“It’s alright,” Clark replied. “Don’t worry about that, just concentrate on getting better. Do you need anything?”

“No,” Lex whispered, his voice fading. “But would you mind sitting with me for a while? I always feel better when you’re with me.”

Clark didn’t even need to think about it. He sat down and took Lex’s hand in his, hating how hot and clammy it felt. He could hear Lex’s breathing slow down as he drifted into sleep.

“I’ll always be with you, Lex,” he whispered into the darkness. “I promise.”

* * *

Clark hadn’t meant to fall asleep but the next thing he knew there was a gentle hand on his arm, shaking him awake. He blinked when he saw that Lex’s bed was empty and it took a moment to process that Lex had been the one who had woken him.

“Hey,” he said with a yawn as he stretched. “How are you feeling?”

“I think I’ll live,” Lex replied with a raspy voice, coughing at the end of it. “I just needed to take a shower.”

“Okay, but I think you should be back in bed. You still don’t sound good.”

Lex nodded, smiling gratefully as Clark pulled back the covers for him. “You know, you’d make a great nurse.”

Clark grimaced. “Nah, I don’t want a job that involves wearing any sort of uniform. Do you want anything? Are you hungry?”

Lex shook his head and climbed into bed, allowing Clark to pull the covers over him, and nestled his head into the pillows. “I just need to sleep. You should go home, Clark. Your parents will be worried about you.”

He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay and not go anywhere until Lex was feeling better, but he knew he couldn’t.

“I’ll come back later,” he said as he stood up. “If you want me to.”

“I’d like that,” Lex murmured, already half asleep. “See you soon.”

He decided to walk home the regular way. If he got home too soon and finished all his chores, he’d only be sitting around wishing he were back with Lex.

* * *

“Clark, you’re not going.”

He knew he was pouting but at this stage he didn’t care. His dad was always so narrow-minded when it came to Lex and today was no different.

“But, Dad,” he whined. “Lex is sick. He needs me.”

“Son, I said no. You’ve already spent half the night there, and Luthor has servants to take care of him. He doesn’t need you, too.”

He looked pleadingly at his mom. She, at least, was usually a bit more reasonable when it came to Lex. The guilty look on her face told him he wasn’t going to get any support this time, though.

“Honey, if Lex is sick maybe you should leave him to rest and recover. You can see him again when he’s feeling better.”

“But he asked me to go over. I know he has servants but I’m his friend and he wants some company. Please?”

He watched as his mother looked helplessly over at his father.

“Fine,” his dad finally sighed. “You can go after dinner but no more staying over and you come straight home if Luthor is asleep. Got it?”

A smile lit up Clark’s face as he pulled both his parents into a tight hug.

“Got it. Thanks!”

* * *

Almost as soon as the last mouthful of food hit his stomach, Clark sped out of the door and headed to the mansion. When he got there he was pleased to find Lex was awake and sitting in front of the fire with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The pleasure quickly faded into concern when Lex started to cough again.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” he asked with a frown as he took a seat beside Lex.

“I’m bored with being in bed,” Lex replied with a voice that was little more than a hoarse whisper. “I’d forgotten how much I hate being ill.”

“No one likes being ill, Lex. Have you seen a doctor? I didn’t think you ever got sick.”

“I don’t, normally, and I have seen a doctor. It’s just a regular cold. I’ll be fine. I’m just glad to have some company. Do you want to watch a DVD or something?”

Clark smiled, finally satisfied that Lex was in no serious danger. Five minutes later they were watching Star Wars, and ten minutes after that Lex’s head was resting on Clark’s shoulder, his breathing deep as he slept.

Clark wouldn’t have moved him for all the Luthor billions.

When the movie was over, Clark carefully tucked the blanket around Lex and lifted him up, carrying him to the bedroom and setting him down on the bed. He felt an ache in his heart when Lex whimpered as he let go of him. If he could he’d have held Lex all night, but he’d promised his parents he’d go home and he knew he had to keep that promise if he was ever going to be allowed to spend time with Lex again.

He tucked Lex in and pressed the softest of kisses to his forehead, smiling when Lex let out a soft sigh.

Leaving was one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

* * *

The next day, Clark spent all his time at school thinking about Lex and wondering if he was okay. When he got home he did his chores in record time, even with his speed, and he was on his way to the mansion before his parents could even blink.

Lex was back in the library, blanket around his shoulders again, when Clark arrived. He smiled sadly and waved at him.

“Hey,” Clark said with a frown. “What’s wrong?”

His frown deepened as Lex pulled out a small white board and wrote one word on it before holding it up so Clark could see.

Laryngitis.

Clark’s eyes widened. “You’ve lost your voice?”

Lex nodded.

“Completely?”

Lex nodded again.

“Lex, that’s terrible! Have you seen a doctor? How long is it going to last?”

Lex wrote on the board again.

Could be anything from a couple of days to a few weeks.

“Oh, wow. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

He couldn’t help but smile as Lex held up the board.

You can let me kick your ass at pool.

“Lex, I’m not going to let you win just because you can’t talk.”

Lex grinned.

So much for the one perk of being sick. Do you want to stay for dinner?

Clark smiled and nodded. “That would be great.”

* * *

Clark knew Lex was an expert at hiding his feelings but not even years of Luthor training could hide his disappointment as they sat down at the dinner table.

The doctor, Lex had explained using his board, had instructed him to only eat soft foods so as not to damage his throat any further. So, while Clark was served a plate of steak and vegetables, Lex was given a bowl of thin stew.

He could feel Lex staring at him, practically drooling as he cut into the meat. He hated seeing Lex looking so longing and needy and not being able to do anything about it. Then he had an idea, and prayed that Lex’s cook wouldn’t think he was too rude.

He signalled to Jarvis who was standing at the back of the room in case he was needed.

“Could you get me some of that stew instead of this?”

Jarvis, well trained in his job, simply nodded and took Clark’s plate away. When Clark made eye contact with Lex again, he saw Lex frown at him.

Clark, what are you doing?

“Your stew looks nice,” Clark replied with a shrug.

But steak is your favourite. That’s why I asked for it.

“I just wanted to try something different.”

Thankfully, Lex left it at that, and simply smiled and nodded. Clark was pleased to find that the stew didn’t taste bad at all.

* * *

Clark wasn’t sure exactly when he’d gotten into the habit of scanning the mansion as he approached so that he could see where Lex was. Today he was in the library, only he was pacing up and down.

Clark frowned as he approached the door.

“Lex, you really should be…”

He stopped as he noticed Lex was no longer pacing. Instead, he was sitting in a reclining position on the couch.

I should be what?

Clark blinked and wondered for a moment if Lex had super-speed that he was keeping hidden. Then he shook his head. “Never mind. How are you feeling today?”

Better now that you’re here.

He smiled. Being here might make Lex feel better, but it made him feel happy too, so it worked out well for both of them. He wished that he didn’t have to leave at the end of every day.

He handed a flask to Lex. “I read on the internet that ginger tea can help with laryngitis so I got my mom to help me make some for you.”

His face lit up as Lex took a sip and sighed happily.

Can I keep you?

He grinned. “Sure, if you can convince my parents to let me off the farm.”

I can be very persuasive…when I can talk.

“Well, then I guess we’ll have to stick to visits until you get your voice back.”

Now there’s an incentive to get better.

He had to will himself not to blush as Lex held his gaze for a few seconds longer than was necessary, a smile quirking at the edge of his lips. Then he blinked and the moment was gone.

So, what do you want to do today?

He grimaced and held out a DVD box to Lex. “My mom gave us this to watch. I don’t know if it’s your sort of thing but she’ll probably quiz me about it when I get home.”

Lex took the box from him and quickly scanned the back before smiling.

De-Lovely. I think you’ll find it…interesting.

He wrinkled his nose. “My mom really loves the songs but I’m not really into biopic movies.”

Cole Porter led a fascinating life, especially when you consider the time he was living in.

He wasn’t convinced but Lex seemed willling and it would make his mom happy. “Ok, put it on. I’ll try and stay awake.”

* * *

As the credits rolled, Clark couldn’t bring himself to move or switch off the TV. In fact, he didn’t stop staring at the screen until Lex’s board appeared a few inches away from his nose.

Did you like it?

He blinked. “It was…wow. I had no idea. His wife must have really loved him to stay with him even though she knew he was sleeping with men.

Lex shrugged.

She loved him and she wanted him to be happy.

“I guess…”

Clark, I think you should know that I’ve been with both men and women in the past. Is that a problem for you?

His eyes widened as he realised Lex was totally misunderstanding what he was saying. The last thing he wanted was to have Lex think he was some sort of homophobe. That was so far from the truth it was almost funny.

“No, not at all. That’s not what I was saying. I just meant that I’m not sure I could share the person I loved with lots of other people like that. I’d rather just let them go.”

You’re a good person, Clark, but things aren’t always as simple as you’d like them to be.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “I’m starting to see that.”

I’ve got an idea. Come over to the piano.

Puzzled, he followed Lex, frowning as he was handed a book of sheet music titled 'The Best of Cole Porter.'

Choose a song. I’ll play, you can sing.

Clark raised an eyebrow. “Lex, I’m not going to sing. I can’t sing.”

It doesn’t matter. It’s just us. Come on, someone needs to sing. I can’t do it.

“Fine, but if you laugh I'm leaving.”

He flicked through the book and his eyes settled on a song. It was one that had been in the movie, and as his eyes scanned the lyrics he knew it was the one. He set it down in front of Lex, causing Lex to look at him for a moment before he nodded and started to play.

This was it.

He started to sing, softly at first, as Lex played gently on the piano so as not to drown out his voice.

“Like the beat, beat, beat of the tom-tom,
When the jungle shadows fall.
Like the tick, tick, tock of the stately clock,
As it stands against the wall.
Like the drip, drip, drip of the raindrops,
When the summer shower is through.
So a voice within me keeps repeating, you, you, you”

He jumped as Lex joined in at the last line. His voice was soft and raspy but it was there. What startled him even more was that Lex wasn’t looking at the music any more. He was looking at Clark.

Lex was singing to him!

He was so shocked that he forgot he was supposed to be singing, and Lex was left to sing alone.

“Night and day, you are the one.
Only you beneath the moon or under the sun.
Whether near to me, or far,
It's no matter darling where you are.
I think of you, night and day.”

The words filled Clark, took over as he started to sing again. This was what he had been trying to tell Lex for weeks. This was how Lex made him feel all the time. After everything, all the effort he’d made trying to find the right words to express how he felt, and they’d been here in the mansion all along.

There was power in his voice this time as he put all his emotions, all the longing, the need and desire for Lex into the song.

He smiled as Lex maintained eye contact as they sang to each other.

“Day and night, why is it so,
That this longing for you follows wherever I go?
In the roaring traffics boom,
In the silence of my lonely room,
I think of you, night and day.

Night and day,
Under the hide of me,
There's an oh, such a hungry, yearning burning inside of me.
And this torment won't be through,
Until you let me spend my life making love to you.

Day and night, night and day.”

The song ended and they both fell silent as the last note from the piano echoed in the room. Clark looked at Lex, hope swelling inside him.

“So…you got your voice back.”

“Sort of,” Lex whispered. “I think the tea helped. Clark, I…”

He reached over and pressed a finger gently against Lex’s lips. “No, save your voice, and let me talk.”

Clark took a deep breath. There was no backing out of it now. He’d waited so long for the right moment, and this was it. If he let it go now, he’d probably never get another chance, not like this.

“When I told you I had feelings for someone else, you just assumed it was a girl. It’s not. I’ve been trying for so long to tell you how I feel about you and that song did it better than I ever could. You’re everything to me, Lex, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else. If you don’t feel the same way I’ll understand, but I had to tell you.”

He watched Lex, his whole body trembling as he waited for some sort of reaction.

“Clark,” Lex finally whispered. “There’s been no one but you since the day you pulled me from the river.”

Relief didn’t even begin to cover how Clark felt as he heard those words. It was as though someone had removed every bone from his body and just left warm, happy goo behind.

With a smile brighter than any he’d ever given in the past, he leaned towards Lex, ready and desperate for their first kiss.

He almost whimpered when Lex pulled away from him.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Lex said, looking almost as distressed as Clark felt. “I just don’t want you to get sick.”

Clark relaxed. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll explain later but I won’t get sick. Please, just kiss me.”

Lex hesitated for a moment, looking at him with uncertainty before he leaned forward and brushed his lips over Clark’s. The kiss was warm and soft, and Clark could taste the ginger on Lex’s breath. He moaned softly and deepened the kiss. It was so much better than anything he could have imagined.

Lex’s scalp was soft and smooth as Clark ran his hands over it, causing Lex to moan in response.

Finally, they were forced to part so that Lex could breathe.

“That was perfect,” Clark sighed with a happy smile.

“De-lovely,” Lex agreed with a grin. “We really should thank your mother for loaning us that DVD.”

Clark’s eyes widened. “Do you think she was trying to tell us something?”

“If she was then I’m buying her front row seats to a Cole Porter show on Broadway. Now, are you sure you’re not going to get sick from kissing me?”

“I’m sure.”

“Good, because it’s a well known fact that kisses are a cure for laryngitis, and mine is a particularly serious case that will require a long course of treatment.”

“Just call me 'Doctor' Kent.”

“Mmm,” Lex said as he kissed him again. “I’ll call you anything you want so long as I can call you mine.”

“I’ll always be yours, Lex. The stuff of legends, remember?”

“I remember. The legend starts here.”

The End