Title: "Never losing hope"
Author: Beverly aka Bev *too*
Email: bev_crusher1971@yahoo.de
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: CLFF 21, prompt #04 "Leaving to have a family"
Notes: I don't like Lana! So in this story she's not the sweet nice girl we see on TV.
Summary: Clark couldn't stand the thought of Lex and Lana together ... so he ran away. Only to find something that would change his world completely.

His whole world broke down within minutes.

After Lex's marriage with Lana, Clark knew that there was no way in hell that he would ever be able to win the love of Lex. He watched them disappear in the shiny limousine, the 'Just married' sign on its back a slap in his face. Up until the last second, he had tried to convince Lana that this marriage was a big mistake. Maybe the biggest mistake in her life, and that Lex didn't love her, not the way she deserved to be loved.

But his efforts were in vain. She had pulled it off and now she was Mrs. Lana Luthor.

And he had lost.

Slowly he turned around, staring down at the ground, unable to look anyone in the eye. With mumbled excuses, he pushed his way through the cheering crowd, and walked home.

He walked at a normal, human pace, needing time to think. Lana would live with Lex in the mansion, would have his child, and maybe even a second one. And they would live happily ever after. A tear rolled down Clark's cheek, unnoticed by him.

When he finally reached the farm, he knew what he had to do. He made his way to his room and grabbed a bag. Without really looking, he opened drawers and pulled out some clothes. They found their way into his bag, together with some shirts he pulled carelessly from their hangers. He needed to get away.

He couldn't bear to see Lex and Lana living their perfect little life with their perfect little child.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?"

His mother's voice startled him, and whirling around, he knocked against the small lamp on his bedside table. It hit the floor with a loud crack.

Neither of them flinched. Martha stood in the door, her eyes going from the duffle bag on the bed to her son and back.

~*~

"You're leaving." It wasn't a question. Martha knew her son well enough to know that those last few weeks; perhaps even months had taken their toll on her boy.

He simply nodded, turning back to continue his packing. "I have to get out of here for a while."

Slowly, almost hesitantly, she walked closer. "Where will you go? And for how long?"

His hands stilled for a moment, the only sign that he heard the question while he stuffed his clothes into the bag. "I don't know," he said finally, after a long moment of silence, with his back still to her.

When he zipped his bag up, he turned around to face her. "Maybe I'll go to Metropolis. Maybe to Europe. I'll just see where the wind takes me." He tried to make it sound funny, but Martha could see the barely hidden tears in his eyes. She simply nodded, sensing that she could say nothing that would keep him.

"Will you let me know where you are?" she asked quietly.

In an instant, she was engulfed in a bear hug from her son, and could feel tears soaking her shirt. She reciprocated the hug, and pressed him to her heart. Her baby. Even now that he was so much taller than she was, he was still her baby. And her baby was about to leave. She didn't hear any sobs, no muffled cry. Her son always cried like this, silently. Almost eerily. She rocked him gently, before he disentangled himself from her arms. "I'll call you, Mom. I promise."

She nodded. He would keep his promise. He was that kind of son. With one last kiss to her cheek, he grabbed his bag, and left.

She walked over to the window, just in time to see him vanish into the blue sky of Kansas.

~*~

He didn't know how long he flew, or where he was. Or what time it was. He didn't know if he rounded the earth once. Or twice. Or ever.

He lowered himself to the ground when he felt that he'd finally lost the control over his emotions. Those few tears he had shared with his mother in his old bedroom were nothing compared to the tears he shed now. He broke down completely. Sobbing, moaning, sometimes crying out as if in physical pain he rolled on the floor of some little forest he happened to cross over when his inner barrier finally cracked and broke.

Hour after hour, he lay there, grieving, crying, hating his fate that forbade him to lead a normal life, that pushed him away from the ones he loved.

Dusk had settled in when he finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

He awoke some time later, torn from irritating dreams by a shriek. He sat up quickly, and listened.

Silence.

And then there it was again. A shout, a yell, followed by a whimper.

He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and tried to find out from which direction the shout had come. There it was again, this time accompanied by cruel laughter. He rose up into the night, and followed the noises.

Mere seconds later, he stood in a nearby town, in a dirty back alley, watching with growing disbelief as a man who was almost 6' 5'' bullied a small and definitely heavily pregnant girl of about seventeen or maybe eighteen.

"Come on, you little whore," he slurred and Clark realized that he had to be drunk. "You wannit, too...doncha?"

The girl tried to pass him by, but she didn't stand a chance against the tall man. He grabbed her arm and pushed her violently against the next wall. She didn't yell anymore, simply whimpered, and Clark felt nauseous at that helpless sound. He cleared his throat to get the other guy's attention but he didn't react. Apparently, he was so drunk that he simply didn't recognize anything going on around him.

The man raised his arm, and before Clark could process what the guy was up to, he hit her again. The girl's head jerked back against the wall, and met it with a dull thud.

Slowly, she sank to the floor of the stinking alley. Clark saw red. He grabbed the arm of the guy, and pulled him away, for once not restraining his strength. It broke with a satisfying crunch. He smiled, as he heard the shriek of the man, but he ignored him, and turned to the girl. The man cradled his broken arm against his body, and ran away as fast as he could.

Carefully, he crouched down beside her, gently shaking her, waking her up. With a moan, she came to, and stared up at him with big, frightened eyes.

"Sssh, it's okay. You're safe now. He can't hurt you anymore."

"Who...who are you?" she murmured dizzily.

"I'm Clark. Clark Kent. And you?"

She moved a little up, and smiled at him. "I'm Brenda Tyler. Thanks for helping me. That jerk really started to get on my nerves."

"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly, as she suddenly pressed a hand against her back and groaned.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am. Could you help me up, please?"

Clark gently pulled her up on her feet. Almost immediately, she doubled over again with a hiss of pain. He caught her, and gently lowered her down again. "We should get you to a hospital," he said worried. "That guy hit you pretty hard."

She shook her head. "No. No, I'm fine. Just need a minute to rest." She put one hand on her swollen belly, and smiled. "And Annie here needs a little time to relax again."

Clark reciprocated the smile. "Annie? So it's a girl."

Brenda nodded. "At least that's what the doc said the last time we were there. And she'd better be right 'cause I already bought lots of stuff in pink."

She laughed, before she suddenly groaned again. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and this time when she looked at Clark, he could see the fear in her eyes. Without thinking twice, he lifted her up, and looked at her with determination in his face. "Where is the next hospital? You need medical attention."

She gasped slightly when she felt herself being lifted up so easily, despite her weight, and closed her arms around his neck. She pointed with her chin to the right. "Down the Main Street. The Sweet Charity Hospital."

He nodded, and started walking. After a few moments she said, "You can let me down now, Clark. You know ... I AM capable of walking on my own."

He shook his head. "No way. I'll bring you to the hospital, and I'll wait there until I know that you're alright."

She laughed slightly. "Got a little bit of a hero complex, hm? I...ah!" She interrupted herself mid-sentence and gasped in pain. Clark could feel her tense up, and hurried.

Minutes later, he entered the hospital, and stopped one of the nurses.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but my friend here has just been attacked and now she's in pain. Could you please ask a doctor to have a look at her?"

The young woman cast one glance at Brenda writhing in Clark's arms, and called immediately for a wheelchair. Carefully, he sat her down.

A female doctor in her mid-thirties came a few moments later, and knelt down next to Brenda. She put a reassuring hand on the doctor's arm. "There is no need to worry, Dr. Anston. My friend here was just a little ... overprotective. Could you please just tell him that I'm okay?"

Dr. Anston knelt down next to the wheelchair, and smiled at Brenda. "Let me decide whether you're okay or not, honey, okay?"

She got up again, and looked at Clark, then she reached out her hand. "And you must be the proud father. I'm glad to finally meet you."

With a look of surprise, Clark glanced at Brenda and saw the look in her eyes pleading with him to play along. He took the proffered hand, and shook it. "Yeah, me too. Sorry I couldn't make it earlier."

Dr Anston made a little gesture with her hand, and smiled. "Don't worry. It seems you came home just in time for your little girl to arrive." She turned her attention back to Brenda. "Now let's go and see what's up, shall we?"

Brenda nodded, and Clark could see that her lips were pressed tightly together in a vain attempt to suppress the pain.

He knelt down before her, and gently unclamped her hands. "You want me to stay?" he asked quietly. Brenda shook her head. "No need," she answered as equally quiet. She reached out a hand, and touched his face. "You look tired, Clark. Why don't you go home and rest?"

He bowed his head slightly. Home. Where was his home? Suddenly a bunch of keys appeared before his eyes. He raised his head again, gazing up at Brenda with a question in his eyes. She smiled. "I know that look, Clark. You look like a beaten, homeless puppy. Go to my apartment. It's 5 Glouster Street. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

With a grateful nod, he took the keys. Then, without thinking twice about it, he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "Thank you," he whispered, then he watched the nurse wheel her away.

He turned to Dr Aniston who had a little smile on her face. "You take good care of her, okay?"

She nodded. "I will, Mr. Kent. And I hope you don't mind me being so blunt, but it's good you finally came back. Brenda was a little lost here without her family to back her up."

With these words, she left him. Left him with lots of things to think about.

~*~

"And you're at her apartment right now?"

Clark nodded. "Yeah, Mom. You'd like her. She's a really nice girl."

"Clark, where exactly are you?"

He had taken a little look around the town on his way to Brenda's apartment, so he knew where his long, desperate flight had taken him. He blushed a little, though he knew that his mother couldn't see it. "It seems I'm in England, Mom."

A sigh. "England? Oh my."

He nodded a little. "Yeah. I must have lost track of time while I was flying."

"But you're alright now, honey?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm alright." He tried to suppress a yawn, but his mother heard him anyhow. She laughed slightly.

"Go to bed, honey. I can hear that you're tired."

"Yes, I am. I'll call you later again, okay?"

They finished their call, and Clark hung up. With another wide yawn, he settled down on the sofa, and closed his eyes.

Only to be awakened by the ringing of the phone a few hours later. The hospital called him in. Brenda was in labor.

It was exactly ten-fifteen am the next day, when Annabelle Rose Tyler finally took her first breath. Brenda was beyond exhausted, and even before the nurse could put the baby back into her arms, she was fast asleep.

The nurse gazed at her with a smile. "Hard time, hm?"

Clark, who was sitting next to her, nodded. "She was in labor almost ten hours."

"So you'll take her, right? Here she is ... your daughter."

He was too exhausted to think of protesting, so he simply reached out his hands. Carefully, she placed the little bundle into his arms, and he gazed down at the peacefully sleeping baby. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" he whispered.

The nurse nodded. "Aye. That she is. You can be proud." With that, she turned around and left.

For a long time, Clark simply sat there with Annie in his arms.

~*~

Four days later, Brenda and Annie were allowed to go home. Brenda sighed in relief. She didn't know how much time she had left before her parents would contact her, telling her to come home. When they did, Annie had to be safe.

She couldn't quite explain it, but she trusted Clark. The gentle giant with the kind eyes, who had literally stumbled into her life, was the answer to all her prayers. She watched him as he handled Annie, and she instinctively knew that he would take care of her. So when they had asked her for the father's name at the hospital, she had given them the name Clark Kent.

It wasn't fair.

She knew that.

But for her, it was the only way to protect her child. He had protected her, even though she had been a perfect stranger. How much would he protect a child that was legally his?

Her parents didn't know about Annie. She had managed to hide her pregnancy up until the sixth month. It had been her aunt Evy, her mother's sister, that had finally taken her aside and asked her straightforward 'what the hell' she was planning to do once she couldn't hide it anymore. Brenda had broken down. She had told Evy everything, and two days later she was on the plane to Great Britain to spend the 'summer with her aunt 'to help her get settled', for Evy had just recently moved to England.

That was the official version. Brenda loved her aunt dearly for that. The next days in England had been tough. Evy was lovely ... sure, but she also managed to read her niece the riot act. Harshly!!!

Afterwards, she had pulled her into her arms and had comforted her. Brenda had spent the last weeks of her pregnancy near the hospital and her doctor, in an apartment that belonged to Evy. Now that the baby was born, she had to return home to her parents. She and Evy had spent many nights discussing what to do once the baby was born. Clark was a gift sent from heaven. From the hospital, she had called Evy and told her what she had done. At first, the older woman had been stunned, but then she had agreed with her that this was the best for all of them.

The baby would have a good home with a loving parent, while Brenda would go home to live the ordinary life of a future congressman's daughter and her parents would never know that they were grandparents.

It was perfect. Right? Right. And yet ...

She sighed quietly.

But apparently not quietly enough. Clark turned around to her, gazing at her with those big green eyes. "You okay?" he whispered, holding her sleeping daughter gently. She nodded. Suddenly she could feel tears forming in her eyes. She had to leave this behind. All of this. Her child, this extraordinary man, her aunt...

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, gazing at Clark. He frowned. "For what?" he asked back.

Yes. For what? He didn't know yet what she had done, nor what she still intended to do. She only shrugged, hoping he would see it as some kind of post-natal weirdness.

He did. He smiled at her, and turned his attention back to Annie.

"She's so tiny," he whispered. His face suddenly fell, and Brenda could see that something was bothering him. She got up, and stood next to him. "What?"

This time it was Clark who simply shrugged, but she wasn't one to give up easy. Carefully, she took her daughter out of his arms, and put her back into the crib. She grabbed his hand, and pulled him over to the sofa. With a gentle shove, she pushed him down, and sat next to him.

"When you were just holding Annie, there was something on your face ... something like sadness. What were you thinking about?"

He tried to avoid her gaze, but she didn't let him. "Come on," she encouraged him. "Everyone has ghosts from the past ... some skeletons in the closet. What're yours?"

When he began talking, she was surprised. There was a deep emotion in his voice, a love so heartfelt and profound that it almost brought tears to her eyes. After almost half an hour of dancing around the subject, she finally understood that someone named Lex had broken this man's heart.

Clark talked without a pause, once he started, and Brenda listened. After an hour, she got up and switched on the light, for the night had slowly settled in. She made tea and some sandwiches for them after two hours. Finally, after three hours, Clark fell asleep with his head in her lap, emotionally drained and exhausted from crying.

She herself had tears in her eyes, and once more, she asked herself if she could do this to him. Then she remembered one of the last things he had said to her before he had fallen asleep. "I don't know where I would've ended up without you and Annie. Right now, the two of you are the only thing that gives my life any meaning."

Tenderly, she stroked his hair. It was black like Annie's, and soft like silk. "I'm sorry," she whispered once more. "Sorry to leave you like this. Sorry to burden you with my problems. But you're here...and you're the only one I trust right now. I can trust you to take care of Annie. So please ... don't hate me when I'm gone."

She extracted herself from his gentle grip – gentle ... he was always so gentle ... despite his height, despite his strength ... he had the gentleness of a kitten – and went over to her room.

She had to pack.

~*~

Clark woke at Annie's first noise. In an instant, he was at her cradle, and he lifted her up carefully. She made little gurgling noises, her eyes still half-closed, and she tried to gnaw on one of her tiny fists. He smiled, feeling something new in his chest, a feeling of tenderness. Suddenly, he understood how his father must have felt when he had literally fallen from the sky. A child to care for. An innocent life to protect. It was incredible.

He smiled at her. "Hi, little girl. Shall we go and see if Mommy's already awake? Yeah, we should. Come on, baby, we'll go over there, and then we'll be knockin' on Mommy's door."

Talking quietly to her, he walked over to Brenda's door, and knocked softly.

No answer.

He frowned. It wasn't like Brenda not to at least answer. He knocked again, a little louder this time, calling out her name.

Again no answer.

He was worried now. With a deep breath, he opened the door, and saw ...

Nothing!

The room was empty, except for the bed and a wardrobe. All of Brenda's clothes were gone. Her suitcase that had been stowed under the bed was gone, too.

It took a moment for him to register the letter on the bed. He felt his knees go weak, and he sat down heavily. Annie gurgled slightly in his arms. With a trembling hand, he reached out for the letter, and opened it.

Dear Clark,

I know that you probably won't understand why I'm gone. And I can't even explain it to you. I have to go and leave Annie behind. Don't think that this is easy for me. It is not. I love Annie so much but it's impossible for me to keep her. You'll keep her safe, I know that.

The birth certificate says that you're her father. Don't think badly of me, Clark, please. But I don't know what else to do. Give Annie all the love you have. After last night, I know that you have plenty of it. I will never forget you or her. And maybe one day you can tell her about her mother, and tell her that she loved her very much.

Brenda

Annie began to cry, and without thinking twice about it, he rocked her gently. He pressed a kiss to her head and was surprised when it tasted salty. Only then did he realize that he was crying too.

24 hours later, Martha Kent stepped out of the Lexcorp private Jet at London Heathrow, and into the waiting limousine.

~*~

"Mom!" With a relieved sigh, Clark Kent embraced his mother. "I'm so glad you came. I don't know what to do. I'm in way over my head."

Martha gazed at her son. His face was pale, and he had dark circles under his eyes. "Oh honey," she sighed, "when was the last time you slept?"

Clark looked down at his watch, and grimaced. "About ... well ... I guess ... but it could have been less ..."

She interrupted him, saying, "Okay, honey. First things first. Where is the baby?"

"Her name is Annie, Mom."

She smiled. "Okay. Annie. Where is she?"

"Asleep. Finally. Come on. She's in the other room."

Clark walked over to the room that until last night had belonged to Brenda. He carefully opened the door, waited a few seconds listening, and then he walked in, waving at his mother to follow him. She looked over his shoulder, and a dreamy smile appeared on her face.

"Clark, she's beautiful."

He nodded, absurdly proud though he really had no right to be. "Yeah, she is. Come on. I'll make us some tea, and then we can talk."

Tea? Interesting. Less than two weeks in England, and her son was already behaving like a British gentleman. She smiled. Fifteen minutes later, she had a steaming cup in her hands. In a few minutes, Clark told her about everything that had been going on, then he showed her the letter from Brenda. He blew softly over his tea, trying not to freeze it, while she read it.

Slowly, she took off her reading glasses, picked up her tea, and emptied the cup in one big gulp.

"So...," she began, "did you go to the hospital? They must have the birth certificate, and there must be the name of the real father on it."

Wordlessly, Clark shoved the birth certificate over to his mother.

"You? But ... how's that possible?"

Clark shrugged helplessly. "She must have told the people at the hospital that I was the father, but I don't know why."

"So that means ..."

He smiled slightly but it came out pretty strained. "That means I'm officially and legally the father of a six-day-old girl."

Suddenly, he yawned widely, and all of Martha's motherly instincts kicked back in. She stood up, grabbed her baby by the hand and pulled him over to the bedroom. "You have to lay down and rest a bit, Clark. Come on. I'll take care of Annie if she wakes up."

Too tired to protest, Clark let himself being pushed into the bedroom, and within minutes, he was under the covers and fast asleep.

~*~

A child.

A daughter.

Slowly Martha walked over to the crib, and stood watching the baby. Only Clark could stumble into a situation like this where he found himself suddenly with a newborn baby and no mother at hand. The baby moved lightly in her sleep, sucking slowly on the pacifier before she quieted down again. Almost hesitantly, Martha moved out one hand and touched the baby's cheek.

Soft. It was so incredible soft. And in those few seconds, she fell in love with the tiny, helpless human being. She sat down on the sofa, reached for the phone, and dialed a number she knew by heart.

It rang once, twice, and then the call was answered. Involuntarily, she smiled when she heard the voice.

"Hi Lex. This is Martha."

~*~

Clark woke with a start. For a moment, he didn't know where he was, or what was wrong. It had been the first long sleep he'd had in over a week, and he felt disoriented. Then, everything came back in a rush.

Annie.

He jumped out of the bed, and within a millisecond, he was in the living room.

Annie was lying in his mother's arms, drinking her bottle peacefully. Martha looked up, and smiled at his disheveled appearance.

"Morning, Clark. Sleep well?"

He frowned slightly. "What time is it?"

Martha put down the now empty bottle, laid Annie over her shoulder, and patted her gently until the air in Annie's stomach came out in a loud burp. Clark smiled.

"It's ten in the morning, honey. You slept almost a whole day."

"A whole day?"

She nodded. "It seems you really needed that. I made breakfast. It's over there; pancakes, apple pie with cream, some cereal, and coffee."

Clark felt his mouth water as he listened to his mother's words, and only seconds later, he sat at the table, wolfing down the breakfast. His mother sat down opposite him, Annie still on her shoulder, one hand protectively over her tiny back.

"What do you plan to do now, Clark?" she asked him after a little while, watching, fascinated by how fast the food disappeared. Clark gazed up, chewing. He swallowed, and took a big gulp of his coffee before he finally answered. "I don't know, Mom. I guess, I should go home with you. And by the way ... how did you get here so fast?" he added as an afterthought.

She blushed slightly, but held his gaze when she answered, "Lex lent me his private jet."

Clark's eyes grew huge. "Lex? You talked to Lex about what happened here?"

His mother nodded.

"But why, Mom? Why of all people did you have to talk to Lex about this?"

"Because I HAD to talk to someone. You can't expect me to..."

"To what?" he interrupted her harshly. "To keep quiet about the fact that some strange woman managed to pull a stunt like that on me?"

He jumped up, and started to pace. "I mean ... why couldn't you talk to Chloe? Or maybe to Pete? But to Lex?"

"He could help me. It's because of him that I'm here now. Or do you really think I could have made it over here in such a short time without him?"

Clark sat down again, and buried his head in his hands. "I ... I don't know. I'm sorry, Mom."

Annie whimpered slightly, and Martha rocked her gently once more, but this time she wouldn't quiet down. The whimpering got stronger until she started to wail. Helplessly, Martha looked over at Clark who got up and walked over to her.

With a soft shushing noise, he took her, and cradled her in his arms. Almost immediately, she grew quiet.

"That's amazing," Martha whispered. Clark smiled almost shyly. He had been the first one who had taken Annie in his arms and somehow the baby seemed to remember that. Whenever he took her, she quieted down.

"I want to go home, Mom. But I want to find Brenda, too. What am I gonna do?"

Martha gently put one hand on his shoulder, and wanted to say something when suddenly the phone rang. "This might answer that question," she replied.

With a questioning gaze in his eyes, he looked at his mother who shrugged a little apologetically, and walked over to the phone to answer the call.

"Kent?"

"..."

"Hello, Lex. Could you find out something?"

She simply ignored Clark'd hissed "MOM!", and looked for something to write. When she found a slip of paper, she scribbled a name, an address, and some numbers on it.

"Thank you, Lex. I don't know anybody who would've managed that in such a short time."

"..."

"Yes, I do, Lex. I'll bring him home with me."

"..."

"Well, I'm not so sure when, but I guess soon. As soon as we sort out this ... situation."

"..."

"I hope so, Lex, I really hope so."

"..."

"No, I don't think he wants to, Lex. I'm really sorry. But he ..."

"..."

"Of course I will. Now let me try to reach this woman, and we'll talk later, okay?"

"..."

"Good bye, Lex."

She hung up, and stared at the paper in her hand.

"Mom?"

She started slightly. "Lex gave me the name and the phone number of this apartment's owner. She might give us a clue where to find Brenda."

Rocking Annie gently, he walked over to her, and gazed over her shoulder at the name.

Evy Masters.

"Did he say where she lives?"

Martha nodded, frowning slightly. "Not very far from here. Apparently, she has this apartment out for rent for tourists, but the last few months her niece lived here. And her niece's name is ..."

"... Brenda Tyler." Clark finished the sentence for her. She nodded.

Clark walked over to the bedroom to get the carrier and a blanket for Annie. "We have to go to her. I need some answers."

~*~

"I expected you, Mr. Kent."

With a graceful movement, Evy Masters motioned them in.

"Though I must say that I didn't expect you so soon. I guess being friends with Lex Luthor has its benefits."

She closed the door behind them, and smiled at Clark's stunned expression. Then she turned to Martha. "And you're his mother?"

Martha nodded and reached out her hand. "Martha Kent. I wish I could say pleased to meet you."

"Mom!" Clark sounded shocked but Evy raised a hand.

"Don't, Mr. Kent. Your mother's right. We meet under circumstances you can hardly call perfect. Why don't you come in, and then I can answer some of your questions?"

It was only then that she seemed to notice the carrier Clark had in his left hand. Her expression grew soft as she bowed down to Annie. She looked at her for a very long moment. Carefully, she reached out one hand, but before Clark could interfere, she stopped. Her finger lingered a few inches from her face. Then she looked up.

"May I?"

Surprised, Clark nodded. "Please."

Only then did she touch the tiny infant. Annie stirred slightly in her sleep but didn't wake up.

About ten minutes later, they sat together in a nicely furnished room. On the table was a plate with freshly baked cookies, a teapot next to it.

Evy poured each of them a cup, added some cream and sugar, and then she leaned back.

"So. I guess you have a lot of questions, Mr. Kent."

Clark blew softly over his hot tea, careful not to freeze it, and nodded.

"First of all, I'd like to know where Brenda is. Is she alright?"

A smiled ghosted over Evy's face. "Brenda was right. You're a very caring person. She made a good decision. And yes, she is alright. She's back with her parents right now."

Clark leaned forward. "But why?"

"She ... had some personal problems that made it impossible for her to keep Annie. That she met you was a coincidence, a very lucky one."

Evy leaned back and took a sip from her tea. "But, I guess I should start at the beginning, Mr. Kent."

He nodded, and Evy started talking.

Evy talked for almost two hours. Clark had long stopped interrupting her. Martha questioned every little detail. Before Clark's inner eye, a family took form. A family of high ethical standards with a very religious father, and a cowardly mother. A family that forced an 18-year old daughter to hide her pregnancy. A father that scared his own daughter almost to death.

"We decided that I would take Annie once she was born, to try and find a couple that would adopt her. Then, you practically fell into her life. You were a godsend. I can't say it any other way. I know that it's not very fair to you, Mr. Kent, but after she saw how you handled that man that attacked her she knew you would protect what's yours even more. That's why she named you as the father."

Evy put her cup down, and Clark saw the slight trembling of her hands.

For a long time the only noise in the room was the soft ticking of an old clock on the faraway wall. Clark got up, walked over to one of the large windows, and gazed out into the garden. It had started to rain, and dark clouds were hanging low.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked finally. "I'm not sure I can simply ... keep Annie. She's not some stray."

"No, she's not. Legally, she's your daughter."

He swallowed hard, and startled slightly when suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw that Evy was standing close behind him. Her green eyes were full of compassion. "If this is about money, then ..."

"No, it's not." Martha interrupted. "This is not about money. This is about a baby that needs her mother."

Evy's voice was a hoarse whisper when she answered, "A mother that would never be allowed to keep her. You don't know my brother-in-law. Why do you think I took Brenda with me? Why do you think I helped her to hide her pregnancy? I know Aaron. He's not only a religious man ... he's a fanatic. He would have thrown her out in a heartbeat. Disinherited her. And he would have never allowed an abortion. She simply had no chance. Then you came her way and suddenly everything seemed to click into place. The solution for all our problems was right before our eyes: you!"

He looked at Evy, then to his mother, and to Annie. Then back to Evy. It seemed to take forever until he was able to take a deep breath. "Okay. Alright. We'll keep her. She'll be safe with us."

"Thank you," Evy whispered. "You don't know what that means to us."

~*~

Lex was standing beside the limousine when his private jet landed. Martha had informed him about everything. His first reaction had been to laugh, then he had been furious about the woman who dared to put his best friend through something like that. Later, Martha had told him the rest of the story, about the girl's family, and Lex had been convinced that Brenda had proved to have excellent taste in putting Clark into the father's role.

Now he waited for the little family to come home. They had been gone for almost two months, giving Annie the time to grow a little stronger before they made the trip across the ocean. Two months that had changed his life so completely that it wasn't funny anymore, not even for him.

He could see Martha waving at him through one of the windows, smiling, and he saw a slight movement next to her that had to be Clark.

A family.

How he wished this could be HIS family. For a moment, he looked down at his left ring finger. His EMPTY left ring finger. It was beyond his understanding how he EVER could've thought that Lana was different.

She wasn't.

Only two weeks after the wedding, he had caught her with her old school friend Andrew.

In their own bed.

He had acted immediately, had kicked her out, arranged the divorce, and was now back on the market.

So to speak.

In the last two months he had talked almost daily with Martha. He had told her about Lana's betrayal, she had told him about Clark's ever growing bond with his daughter. They had bonded over their love for Clark.

And Lex felt something he hadn't felt in a very long time.

Envy.

The naked envy that Clark had everything that he, Lex, so desperately craved. A child, a family, happiness.

But he tried to push this feeling aside. In one of his long talks with Martha, they had plotted to have the nursery ready when they came home. As a surprise for Clark. Lex would arrange everything.

He had felt a knot in his gut when he had his staff transport the things from the castle to the Kent's farm, the bed, the toys, the clothes, and the diaper-changing table. He'd painted the walls by himself. After two weeks of hard work, he was finally ready. The room that had been Martha's former bedroom, bigger than Clark's room, was now a dream of a nursery, complete with a king-size bed for Clark. Martha had moved to her son's old room. Lex smiled sadly.

A dream, yes. But not his dream to share. Never his to share. Once again, he would be the one standing on the outside, looking in.

Now he watched his pilot landing safely. Only a few minutes more and he would be able to embrace Martha again. Over the last few months and sometimes he thought even years, she had been the one to keep him sane. The more he and Clark seemed to drift apart, the closer he had become with Martha.

The stairway was rolled to the door that opened, and then she was there. Lex couldn't hide the broad grin that seemed to form on its own accord on his face. She walked down the gangway, and Lex opened his arms.

"It's good to be back, Lex," she murmured when he finally held her tight. He simply nodded. Then his gaze fell on Clark, who had followed at a slower pace. In his arms, he held a carrier. And in that carrier was the baby.

Annie.

Clark looked at him with a strained smile. "Lex," he mumbled, and nodded slightly. His only greeting. He pulled the carrier up against his chest, as if the baby would be able to defend him against Lex.

Lex reciprocated the smile with one of his own, then he turned to Martha again. "The limousine is waiting. I'll take you home. Come on."

With a wave of his hand, he gestured them over, while behind him one of his employees took the luggage to the car.

Lex opened the back door of the limousine by himself, and noticed with a smile Clark's surprise when he saw the baby seat. Clark glanced up, and for a moment, the old warmth was back, shining out of those green eyes that had haunted him in so many dreams, warming him like sunshine.

Seconds later, it was gone again.

"Where's Lana?"

The question was like a cold shower. Lex swallowed. And swallowed again. Seeking help, he gazed at Martha, knowing that it was somewhat ridiculous. But she didn't disappoint him. She took one step closer, and put on hand Clark's arm. "Let's go home first, honey. Okay?"

Clark seemed to be a little confused, but he simply nodded and after strapping Annie into her seat, he climbed in next to her. Martha followed. Lex waited until all the suitcases and bags were in the car's trunk, then he got in and gave the chauffeur the sign to drive home.

~*~

Clark was irritated.

Where was Lana? Why didn't Lex tell him proudly about his wife, about her pregnancy, about everything he had gloated about in the past?

He turned to Annie, and stroked his sleeping child gently. The gnawing pain that he had felt whenever he had thought about Lex in the past few weeks, and that had subsided a bit, came back in full force. Seeing him again brought back all those feelings he had thought he buried.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he barely noticed when they finally arrived at the Kent Farm, so he was surprised when the car stopped. He looked up, and smiled widely.

"We're home," Lex's voice interrupted his thoughts. Clark turned around, and looked directly into the other man's eyes. There was something unreadable in them. Quickly, he averted his gaze back to Annie, who chose that moment to wake up. Almost grateful, Clark moved to her, and gently lifted her out of the seat.

"We're home, sugar."

His mother was already outside with Lex. She reached out, and took Annie from his arms. As soon as he'd left the car, he took her again, cradling her against his shoulder.

He missed Lex's wistful look.

A hand on his arm caused him to turn around, smiling at his mother. "We have a surprise for you."

He frowned slightly.

"What surprise?"

Just then, he noticed the expectant glance in her and Lex's eyes, and a shiver ran down his spine. "What. Surprise?" he repeated, a little sharper this time.

Smiling, she grabbed his free hand, and pulled him with her.

Speechless, he stood in his new room a few minutes later. He walked in slowly, touched a toy here, a blanket there. Finally, he sat down on the bed, surprised that the mattress was exactly the way he liked it.

"How ... and who?" he stuttered. Martha's smile deepened, and she grabbed Lex's hand, and pulled him a little closer.

"Lex did this. It wouldn't have been possible without him."

He sought Lex's eyes, and for the first time he let his feelings show. Sitting on his new bed, with his daughter in his arms, he slowly started to believe that this might actually work.

~*~

"Where's Lana?"

Martha froze for a second, then she continued to stir the soup.

"I ... I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

She could hear the scratching of a chair, Annie's whimpering, and Clark's soft, cooing noises. For a moment, she hoped that he would leave it at that. But she should know him better.

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

"Where is Lana?"

Okay. No chance. She turned around. Clark sat on his usual chair, Annie in his arms, a bottle of milk ready on the table in front of him.

"Honey, Lana left Smallville."

Silence.

For a moment, she wasn't sure if he'd understood her. Then ...

"Why?"

"Because she cheated on Lex."

"WHAT?"

His shout made Annie nervous, and she started to cry. Immediately, he rocked her again, quieting her down.

"She did what?"

Martha reduced the heat under the soup, poured a coffee for Clark and one for herself, and sat down, watching him feed Annie.

"She cheated on him, two weeks after the wedding. He found her and her lover in his own bed. He was ... furious. I've never heard him so angry."

"Why did she leave?"

Martha took a sip of her coffee, and put the cup down again. "She thought that she couldn't stay here any longer. When Lex ... asked her to leave the mansion, she ran off to Nell. I don't know if she's still in Metropolis."

"What about the baby?"

Martha smiled sourly. "She wasn't pregnant. She took hormones to pretend that she was pregnant to lure Lex into the marriage. That was the part that really devastated Lex."

"Why?"

Martha sighed sadly. "The only time I saw him really happy those past few months was when he was talking about the baby. It was the only thing he really wanted. When he found out that she lied about it ... he almost broke down. It was about the time when I told him about you and Annie. For a moment I was afraid he might lose it."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Clark's voice sounded worried.

"I wasn't my story to tell, and you had your own problems at that time."

Annie finished her lunch, and Martha could see that her son wanted ... no, needed to go over to see Lex. She reached out her hands. "Give the little one to me. I'll take care of her until you're back."

Clark handed Annie over with a grateful expression, gave his mother and his daughter a quick kiss, and off he went.

The hinges of the door creaked slightly as it swung softly back and forth.

~*~

The knocking on his door was so soft that for a moment, Lex wasn't sure if he hadn't imagined it. But a few seconds later, the knocking repeated, a little louder this time.

"Come in," Lex called.

And was more than surprised when Clark almost hesitantly opened the door, and peeked in.

"Hi, Lex. Am I interrupting something?"

Lex closed his laptop, and got up. He pointed to the sofa. "No, of course not. What can I do for you? Can I get you something to drink?"

Clark sat down, and shook his head. His dark locks had grown a little longer over the last few months, and went down almost to his shoulders. It took all of Lex's willpower not to run his hands through it.

"I ... I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me and Annie. And for the support you've given my mom."

Lex poured himself a scotch and sat down next to him, careful to leave a little space between them. He didn't trust himself. The younger man was too tempting with those kissable lips, the sparkling eyes, and the thick, dark hair.

"You're welcome, Clark. But you know that it was my pleasure to help you, right?"

Clark blushed a little, gazing down on his hands. Lex smiled. Funny how some things never seemed to change. At the beginning of their friendship, it had been fun to make the boy blush. Now that Clark was a man, it was just as fascinating.

"She ... ah ... she told me about Lana. I'm really sorry to hear about it."

Lex got up abruptly. He didn't want to talk about her. Not now. Not with that stunningly beautiful man on his sofa.

"Yes, me too," he forced out after a few moments. "If you want, I can try to find out where she is for you."

He closed his eyes, turning away from Clark. It hurt. Hurt so badly. But the answer he got wasn't what he'd expected.

"Why would I want that?"

Amazed, Lex turned around. "You don't?"

Clark smiled slightly. "No. No, I don't."

"But you ..." Lex was at a loss for words while he looked deeply into the other man's green eyes.

"But I ... what?"

Lex sat down again, this time a little closer to him. "Why did you try to stop the wedding? You tried so hard to convince Lana not to marry me. I always thought you did it because you were still in love with her."

Another blush. A little deeper this time.

"That's true. I tried to stop the wedding. But not because of Lana. I tried to stop it because I knew that once you had her, you'd finally be lost to me."

Clark's voice had grown quieter and quieter, until it was only a soft mumble. It was so muted, that it took Lex a few moments to understand.

Before he could reply, Clark continued, "Why did you marry her?"

That question had kept him awake for many nights in the last few weeks. He'd never found an answer. But now, with Clark sitting next to him, it was suddenly very simple.

"She reminded me of you, Clark. She had your aura of innocence. Of honesty. I thought by marrying her I'd get a little closer to you. She was the closest I could get to you."

Silence. For a moment, Lex was afraid that he might have said the wrong thing. Maybe he should have lied. Should have made up some story about falling in love accidentally. About ...

"Why didn't you ever say something?"

Lex stood and thought for a moment before he turned to look down into Clark's eyes.

"What could I have possibly said? That I've wanted you? Needed you? That over all those years you were the only constant in my life? The only one who ever believed in me? And that I fell in love with you somewhere along the way?"

Clark's smile had grown bigger with every sentence. "For starters."

Lex turned away again, feeling insecure. A feeling he barely knew, a feeling he didn't like. He hated feeling so vulnerable, especially in front of someone younger than him. Someone so different. Someone who hadn't his background.

(Someone you love, a voice inside his head whispered.)

He nodded, not realizing he did.

But apparently, Clark saw it, because suddenly he was behind him. Those large, strong hands were gentle on his shoulders, turning him around so he had to look into those big green eyes. But they weren't simply green. Now that he was standing so close, he could see tiny little spots of gold, and brown, and black.

He could feel the warmth radiating from Clark's body, could feel it wrap itself around him like a blanket. And he wanted nothing more than close his eyes, and drown in that warmth. But he didn't.

He didn't dare, still afraid he'd shock the young, innocent man away. He ignored his inner voice's roaring laughter at the phrase 'innocent'. Ignored it because Clark's nearness made it almost impossible for him to think clearly.

If he'd been able to think clearly, he would have pushed Clark away before he came closer. Because they had to talk first. But as those inviting, tempting lips slowly descended onto his own, he simply surrendered. And if he'd been able to think clearly, he certainly wouldn't have moaned softly. And he MOST certainly wouldn't have deepened the kiss the way he did now.

Seconds, minutes (years?) later Clark slowly let go of him. "Why didn't you ever tell me, Lex."

His voice was husky, a gentle caress of his name. Lex shivered, and Clark pulled him closer. Closer to his warmth. To his strength. But suddenly the grip loosened. And while everything inside him screamed in protest, a very small part of him was glad for this little space. It allowed him to think again.

Suddenly, laughter bubbled up inside him. A loud, almost hysterical laughter. Frowning, Clark let go of him, watching him as if he wasn't sure if whatever had taken hold of Lex might be contagious or not.

Lex looked at him, saw his expression, and burst out laughing again.

It felt good.

It felt oh-so-good. It was the silence from Clark that finally made him stop laughing. The silence and the clearly pissed-off face he made.

Still grinning, Lex walked up to his beautiful farm boy and kissed him.

"All that time we wasted," he mumbled against Clark's lips, and kissed him again. "All those months and years of tiptoeing around each other. All we had to do was open our eyes. See what's right in front of us."

He could finally feel Clark's arms close around him again, and with a sigh, he deepened the kiss. The kiss lightened, and Clark moved those amazing, talented lips softly over his jaw, licked on his throat, and closed his lips around his Adam's apple.

A softly breathed, "I love you, Lex," against his skin made Lex shiver, and without thinking he whispered back, "Show me."

~*~

"Show me."

Clark raised his head, gazed down into the lust-filled eyes of the smaller man standing in his arms, and decided to show him indeed. He would show him everything. No more secrets. No more lies. He was tired of it all. He wanted to show Lex who he really was. So, he simply grabbed him a little tighter, and started to float slowly in the direction of the bedroom.

Lex gasped and closed his arms around his lover's (he SO liked the sound of that) neck. After a few seconds, Clark lowered them gently down onto the bed.

Lex cleared his throat, and asked, "Clark? Is there something you want to tell me?"

Clark could feel himself blush. There was something in Lex's eyes that was familiar. Something he had seen before. Involuntarily, his mind brought up pictures of Lex's time in the asylum, of his so-called madness. And his, Clark's, attempts to save him. He had thrown himself between Lex and a car to protect him from being killed. And it was then that he had seen that look. No disgust. No scientific curiosity. But a look of awe. Of open admiration.

He told him. Everything. He held nothing back. He was tired of hiding what he was, and who he was. Especially to the man he loved.

Lex watched him intently. Silently. When Clark was finished, there was a long silence. Lex moved closer, took his face in both his hands and whispered, "Thank you." Then, he kissed him.

Clark seemed to melt into the kiss, but suddenly he bolted upright, almost knocking Lex from the bed. The bald man stared at him. "What?"

"Annie," Clark said, cocking his head slightly, as if he was listening to something, "she's crying, and Mom can't calm her down."

Before Lex could ask him how the hell he could know that, Clark was gone. In a blink of an eye, Lex was alone on his bed. He sighed. Okay. Superpowers were DEFINITELY something you had to get used to.

~*~

"You shouldn't have left him alone so abruptly," Martha scolded her son gently. He held Annie close, and rocked her tenderly. Her crying had stopped the second he had stepped through the door.

"That's okay, Martha," came a voice from the door. None of them had noticed the screeching tires from the sports car. "I think I just have to get used to being the second in line."

"Lex, I ..." Clark started but Lex stopped his excuse with a raised hand.

"No, Clark. I understand. If I were in your place ... I'd do the same."

Clark's eyes were warm and full of love as they rested on Lex. The older man stepped closer, and touched Annie carefully. She opened her eyes that were of an amazing blue. Her hair was almost black, and looked so much like Clark's that she really could be his child. She put her head back on her daddy's chest but her gaze never left Lex.

"She likes you," Clark said quietly.

Lex gazed up, back into those amazing green eyes. "You think?"

Clark nodded, full of conviction. "She would turn away or start to cry if she didn't like you."

Lex felt absurdly proud. Without thinking, he said the next thing that came into his mind. "Maybe you should move into the castle with her. That way you can be close to her whenever she needs you."

The following silence told him that something was not quite right, so he lifted his gaze from Annie and looked first at Clark then at Martha. "Did I say..."

...something wrong, he'd wanted to say but before he could finish the sentence, Clark had thrown his arm around him, and hugged him. Tightly. As tight as he could dare with Annie still resting between them. "Serious?" a voice next to his ear murmured.

He nodded, a little stunned. His gaze drifted to Martha. She stood there. Quiet. Very composed. Trying very hard to be happy for her son whose dreams had just come true, yet he could see the suspicious shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.

She desperately WANTED Clark to be happy. To lose him so soon, just after becoming a grandmother had to be terribly hard for her, yet she didn't complain. For that, Lex loved her even more.

Softly, he extricated himself from the grip of his lover, and turned to her.

"I know that this must be hard for you, Martha, and that I'm asking a lot from you, but could you consider moving into the castle as well?"

Two pairs of eyes turned towards him. One full of barely hidden hope, one full of questions. Before one of the Kents could say something, he continued.

"Please. You don't have to answer right away. Just ... promise me that you'd at least consider the option. You wouldn't be alone here, could be near Clark and Annie. And I'd really love to have you near us."

A single tear escaped the tight rein Martha held over her emotions, and she nodded. For now, this was all Lex could ask of her.

~*~

Clark went back with Lex in the same night, with Annie and some of the stuff she'd need for a night out in the backseat of Martha's truck. Lex would sell the sports car and buy a truck, too. Or maybe a van. In any case something big.

They spent the night making love and looking after Annie who slept peacefully through the night without waking up once.

"She's an amazing baby," Lex whispered, and Clark smiled.

"They say that when the parents are quiet and in balance, then the baby will be, too."

"In balance ... maybe." Lex closed the bedroom door behind them, and pushed Clark onto the bed. He opened his bathrobe with one hand while his other grabbed some strands of the silken, black hair of his lover. "Quiet ... definitely not." And with that, he kissed him passionately. Longingly. And so full of love that Clark wondered for one very brief moment how any of his wives had been able to walk out on him. Then those lips moved deeper, over his throat and his thinking stopped completely. He could only feel. Feel the incredible love of this extraordinary man. And he didn't give a damn about how sappy that sounded, even in his own head.

Martha moved in two weeks later.

Clark stood next to Lex, watching the men he'd hired carry all the stuff inside. "I could've done that, you know," he whispered in Lex's ear, making the older man shiver involuntarily. He turned just a few centimeters to Clark, whispering back, "I know. But they get good money from me to do that. So ... any more objections?"

Love shone in Clark's eyes as he shook his head slowly no. No, no more objections. Deep inside, Lex was a big softy, and Clark knew that. Martha stepped over to them, a big smile on her face. She carried Annie in her arms, who made happy, gurgling sounds.

Clark watched how Lex reached out for Annie, who reached out for him, too. A big smile threatened to split Lex's face in two, and Clark could see the love in his mother's face.

A few months earlier, he had been sure that he would never be happy again. His life had seemed to be over before it had begun. He had run away. Had to run to get away from the family Lex was about to have. From the love he'd seemed to have lost.

But now everything had changed. He had left to run away from a family, only to find another one, albeit involuntarily.

He watched his mother. His lover. His daughter.

His family. He thought that he could never feel happier.

~*~

Epilogue

A year after they had all moved in together into the castle, they adopted a little boy named David. Two years later Clark realized that he was even more different than he had ever thought. He realized it the moment that he discovered that he was pregnant.

While he was scared to death, Lex was ecstatic about it. And thanks to the advance of modern medicine (and not a small amount of money from Lex disguised as a donor), Clark was able to have the child without being the "Freak of the Week" on the front pages of all newspapers.

It was a little girl, their second one after Annie, who was almost four.

Clark rested in his bed, his little daughter next to him, Lex behind him. "I love you so much it sometimes scares me," Lex murmured while he stroked their daughter gently. She looked almost exactly like Annie, but where Annie's eyes were meanwhile of deep dark brown, this little girl had eyes as blue as the ocean. As blue as Lex's.

With a deep, happy sigh, Clark rested his head on his lover's chest, and closed his eyes. "Are you still sure about the name?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Of course I am."

Clark pulled his daughter a little bit closer, and whispered, "Welcome to the family then, Brenda Kent-Luthor."

His last thought before he fell asleep in his lover's arms was how incredibly lucky he was that he had stumbled upon one Brenda Tyler all those years ago. One day he might even be able to contact her, and thank her.

End