Lex loses his mutant abilities

Title: Changes
Author: Lexophilia
Email: lexsbabymama@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: Lex loses his mutant abilities. CLFF Wave 22

Notes: AU, angst, Clex friendship
Summary: Life is about the unexpected and the changes that occur because of it.

* * *

Each face, each body holds some characteristic that seems to remind him. Sometimes it's the gleam of too bright eyes inside of a too pale face. Sometimes it's the way that a slight frame carries itself with a sort of weightless grace. Moving but barely skimming the surface.

These visits are something Clark started doing because it made him feel more connected. It was an attempt to help him understand what Lex had been through and where he had been. At first, it was awkward and a bit unsettling. Being surrounded by so many people going through the same situation his friend had made him feel he should've seen exactly what was happening before things progressed.

However, after a few months of weekly visits passed, Clark started to realize that he was getting just as much, if not more, out of the visits as the kids.

Both men had been working so hard to reestablish their friendship, and Clark just assumed that the changes in Lex were ones caused by their reconnecting.

Yet, there's always that little voice in the back of his mind telling him that he should have known.

* * *

"Lex!" Clark greeted with his usual cheer and wide smile as he entered his friend's office.

"Hey, Clark. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Lex asked as he rose from his seated position to walk around his desk and properly greet his guest. Life had taken a fast turn from busy to extremely hectic causing Lex to have less and less time to spend with Clark. So seeing his friend before him gave him a good feeling.

After Clark discovered the contents of a certain room in the mansion, Lex was certain that their friendship was irreparably damaged. But the fact that it wasn't was something that Lex told himself he would never take for granted again. A friendship like the one he'd almost lost was something nearly impossible to come by in this world, and he knew that he'd have to work at keep that friendship solid.

"I got done with my chores early, Lex. I was hoping that we could hang out for a bit. Maybe I should have called first. I can always come back another time if you're busy with something. I don't mind," Clark said as a little of his inherent shyness came through and a brief moment of uncertainty and hesitancy caused his face to warm.

"It’s nothing that can't wait," Lex said. And it was okay with him if that wasn't necessarily true. Reading for hours was tiring, and he needed a break, if only for a little while.

"Great," Clark beamed. Moving on instinct and using the natural ease of the camaraderie they'd established, Clark wasted no time and walked over to the wall to select his favorite cue.

Being friends again felt good. It actually felt better than good, and Clark was just starting to be able to admit that to himself. It gave his life a sense of normalcy when life usually did anything but.

Both he and Lex had been through a lot during the summer. They'd decided mutually, if not necessarily verbally, to not play the blame game as to who or what was responsible for the break in their trust. Both of them understood their individual faults, and they'd decided together to focus on the rebuilding. Surprisingly, it was working out better than either of them had expected.

Maybe they were purposefully disregarding issues in their relationship that would later resurface and cause problems between them just for the sake of companionship. Maybe not. Time would tell. But for now, Clark was happy just to have his friend back.

Unbeknownst to Lex, Clark stood watching and pondering as the other man selected a cue and prepared the table.

There was something different about Lex, and Clark couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. Yes, the changes themselves were clear, but the cause of them was not. Clark thought that maybe Lex was finally just letting go and allowing himself to be comfortable around someone else. In the past, Lex always seemed so focused and sharp. It was as if he was always thinking and competing and working, but that had changed.

Over the last month, Lex seemed more at ease. In a way, he almost carried himself in a different manner than he had in the past. He'd become less intense, and he'd finally stopped obsessing over every little detail. It was as if his mind was more at rest than it had ever been.

There were other slight changes in his friend's personality, but they were so subtle no one would notice unless they really knew the man.

Lex was addressing him differently, and little things about the way that he spoke were somehow off. He'd always been so formal. It was something that he'd mildly teased Lex about in the beginning of their friendship. Lex was always sharing some tidbit of random knowledge or talking about some epic battle or quoting things said by ancient men, but Lex didn't do that anymore, and he'd started to miss it.

There were also times when Clark repeated himself because Lex hadn't caught what was said or Lex had been thinking about something else. Out of all of the changes, this was the one thing that worried him the most. Inattentiveness was something he'd never witnessed in Lex, and Clark found himself wondering what exactly was going on in his friend's life to cause that level of distraction.

And still, Clark knew that it was not his place to push.

Lex appeared to be doing well otherwise. Until he had some proof that these changes were something negative, he'd continue to work with them. After all, a more laid back, relaxed, less complicated Lex really wasn't something to complain about.

It was just a little different.

Clark watched as Lex proceeded to take the first shot. Lex succeeded in sinking half the balls before he missed. Apparently, Lex was still very good at kicking his ass at pool.

"Finally," Clark huffed with fake exasperation, "I thought I was never going to get a turn," Clark said as he leaned over to take a seemingly easy shot and couldn't help but sigh as he missed by a mile.

"Maybe next time, Clark," Lex said as he moved around the table to position himself for an easy sink and accidentally bumped his hip against one of the hard, wooden corners.

"Ouch. Are you okay, Lex?" Clark asked concerned for his friend.

Lex merely waved him off with a slightly embarrassed grin and proceeded to make shot after shot completely clearing the table on his own.

"Wow, Lex. At least I got to watch you play," Clark said with a smile on his face.

Losing didn't matter one bit as long as he got to spend time with his friend.

"It's okay, Clark. I'll let you break first this time, " Lex said as they both began resetting the table.

Lex considered letting his friend win the next game as he fought to keep a pleasant grin on his face. He was determined not to rub at the sore spot on his hip that would more than likely showcase a spectacular bruise by morning. As he watched his friend break, Lex wondered exactly when did he become so clumsy.

* * *

He felt tired down to his bones. The week had been ridiculously long, and there'd been little to no time to just stop. He'd made an attempt to contact Clark earlier in the week, but Clark had been away. When his friend called back later that same evening, he'd already fallen asleep. Lex told himself falling asleep before 8 o'clock had everything to do with all the projects and plans unfolding at work and nothing to do with the growing feeling of malaise and lethargy constantly chasing him.

For early fall, the halls of the mansion were cooler than what he'd grown accustomed to, and he couldn't hold back the slight shiver caused by the chill in the air. He made a note to himself to check with his staff to ensure that the thermostat was set to the appropriate levels.

It was still early in the evening, and he'd invited Clark over for a rematch of last week's game even though the day had been tiring.

Their time together was something that he really enjoyed, and he was willing to admit that he'd truly enjoyed their evening together the previous week. It was only when he was spending time with his friend that he felt like he didn't have to put on a show. He was allowed to talk about things that interested him. Things that had nothing to do with business and more to do with reconnecting with a part of himself that he'd never felt permitted to share with others.

Reestablishing their friendship was changing him. Someone being a positive, reliable influence was something he'd missed since losing his mother. Having Clark in that role somehow made things a little easier.

There'd been a time in his life when Lionel Luthor's unique brand of parental guidance haunted his waking and sleeping thoughts. They'd shaped him. They'd pressed him into this unyielding mold that allowed no room for deviation or movement. The mold was like a living thing. It stole his breath away with pressure from all sides like the asthma he'd had as a child. Wringing his lungs out until all that was left was the desire to breathe.

It wasn't until a couple years after relocating to Smallville and meeting Clark that he realized his life was scripted. That he'd been nothing more than a talented actor with a pretty face, a charming personality, and a deep desire to please. Crafted by a master. Being pulled and guided by invisible strings.

To him, Lionel's voice had become all encompassing. To see the son was to see the father. To hear the son was to hear the father.

But as time passed, the mold became too tight. Too suffocating. Too much. He had no other options, and so it just happened. He'd become the object in the middle of a vice, and so he did what all objects caught in vices eventually do. He broke, and his breaking caused the mold to shatter. With seemingly no discretion, the jagged pieces of the fractured mold spared no one. Clark, Lana, his father, the people that worked for him. There were no innocents.

That was when his blinding obsession with Clark started. It was as if the obsession became the one reliable constant in his life. It became an addictive and sick companion, and it eventually led to what should have been the end of their friendship.

Yet, Clark was cut from a different cloth. Lex saw firsthand the forgiving nature in his friend's heart, and he actively began making adjustments in his way of doing things. After discovering that life wasn't scripted and that he could make choices that went against the grain and not become a weaker or lesser man, he'd apologized for all of his pushing and obsessing. He's apologized and Clark forgave him, and the two of them never spoke of it again.

Pondering his renewed friendship with Clark was something that he'd recently found himself doing a lot. Random thoughts continued to pick at Lex's brain as he made his way through the mansion. These thoughts stayed with him as he undressed in his bedroom. They and the fact that his friend would be visiting shortly were his companions as he made his way to the bathroom and, once there, began twisting the knobs to adjust the temperature of the shower before stepping inside.

Lex stood there with the water beating down on his body and allowed his head to rest against the wall of the shower. As his arms hung loosely at his sides, the steady streams of water massaged his tense neck and shoulder muscles allowing him to fully relax for the first time since waking up that morning.

After a few moments of just enjoying the warm water, he began to quickly finish his shower. He had things to do, and Clark would be arriving soon. He winced as his hand passed over the large bruise on his hip, and he ignored the niggling in the back of his mind that said both the bruise and the pain from it should have been long gone.

And then it happened. It was the point in which whatever was going inside his body made itself known in a way that could no longer be ignored, denied, or looked over.

As Lex stepped out of the shower, he felt a warm flush pass through his body. His hands began to tingle and his knees felt weak, and he knew his was about to faint. He dropped to his knees to avoid cracking his head on the way down and just barely managed to put his numb hands in front of himself to prevent his face from striking the floor. He felt shaky and sick to his stomach, and a sharp pain was blooming between his eyes. Falling over to his side, he hissed at how cold the bathroom floor was against his damp skin.

More concerned with his health and less about his state of undress, Lex drew a breath to call his servants for help, but the words never left his mouth.

* * *

He was unaware of how much time had passed. When he opened his eyes, he found himself still on the bathroom floor. Slowly moving to a seated position, he sat there for a few moments resting his head on his knees and drawing in slow, deep breaths.

A slight tapping on the other side of the door startled him.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Mr. Luthor. Your guest has arrived."

"Thank you," Lex said as he slowly stood and grabbed his robe. "Please tell him that I will be down in ten minutes."

"Yes, sir, " the older gentleman said as he left to relay the message.

Lex glanced briefly at his reflection in the mirror and saw nothing signaling what had just happened. He'd call Dr. Michaels in the morning and schedule a physical. For the time being, he was going to have fun with Clark and try not to think about that niggling that was slowly getting louder and louder.

* * *

Lex felt good. Good was relative enough. He was nice and warm. The soft crackling of the fire and the dancing images its flickering threw against the otherwise darkness of the room were deeply comforting. Lex took a sip of the amber liquid in his glass and happily greeted the warm burn of its slide down his throat and into his stomach. The sensation spread out from his center, and he allowed himself a moment to believe that this growing, blossoming thing inside of him had nothing to do with the letter that lay unfolded on his lap.

The blood work and scans all led to one conclusion. There were no doubts in Dr. Michaels' mind or in the mind of the specialist that had been brought in. All of the tests were accurate.

It seemed that life had a sense of humor, and the irony of the situation didn't escape him. All of those years of looking like a thing and to finally become that thing was actually funny in a way that was incapable of inspiring any humorous thoughts.

In ten hours, his life was going to change. Part of him wanted to keep this latest change to himself for as long as possible, but he'd made a promise to someone special that he would always try being open and honest whenever possible. And he knew in his heart that Clark would be deeply hurt if something happened and he hadn't been made aware.

Lex took another sip of the calming liquid and wished for once in his life that things could be simple.

* * *

Clark is reading a story about monsters and legends to a quite little boy who usually sits off to the side coloring or putting together a puzzle. When he'd walked over and introduced himself last week, the boy had looked up at him with a set of eyes that reminded him so much of someone else, he'd felt momentarily floored.

He was hit with how much he missed his friend.

Lex's eyes had held that same type of world weary curiosity. Lex's eyes had searched the motives of a stranger upon first meeting and decided in that moment whether the individual was trustworthy or not.

"Hello. My name is Clark. I'm a volunteer here. What's your name?"

"I'm Casey, Clark. Both of our names start with a C, " the little boy said as he smiled and resumed his coloring. No, this kid was not shy. And Clark didn't even have to figure out what to say next. Before he knew it, Casey had asked him to sit down because he was really really tall. He'd told Clark that he was seven and a half and that Clark had to be way older than he was because he was so tall. He'd also mentioned that the playroom only had "books for babies."

So today he made sure to bring something that he'd picked up that would interest the obviously intelligent child. He'd chosen the book because it was the thickest one he could find in the children's section. The story he's selected from it to read today is about a young prince that must leave his home and face trials and obstacles before he can return and become ruler of his people. It's a common story about heroes. It's a legend involving mythological creatures that inspire fear in the hearts of men. And as Clark reads, the little boy's eyes fill with wonder.

And before either of them notice, an hour has passed. Clark tells Casey that he's sorry that he has to go, but he promises that he'll be back the same time next week to finish where they left off.

Clark has faced the uncertainly of lives that hang in the balance like little Casey's, and he really hopes that the young man will still be there fighting the next time he visits.

* * *

As night approaches, Clark sits in the quiet of his loft and thinks about a lot of things. He thinks about how the illness that has changed the way he looks at people and life and opportunity has taken so many beautiful people away from this world. He thinks about the unfairness of it all. So much intelligence, light, and love lost because of imperfections within the human body. He thinks about those curious, little blue eyes and he recalls the ones that they'd reminded him so much of. He thinks about them and thanks who or whatever it is that moves us all for allowing his best friend to still be here.

The disease had been found early, and his friend had been spared.

As he sits in the loft with his thoughts as his companion, his eyes drift over to the book he'd been reading to Casey earlier. He stands, picks it up, and moves back to his position on the couch. As he reads through the pages, he smiles to himself as he realizes the kid will get a kick out of the ending. The prince, it seems, decides not to return home and become ruler of his people. The young man decides instead to go out and make his own way in the world.

Clark is so wrapped up in the story, that he doesn’t hear the approaching footsteps.

"Hey, Clark. I decided to stop by and say hello before I head home," Lex says as he finishes making his way up the stairs and sits on the arm of the couch. Clark can feel the smile spreading across his face. That voice and that face – his friend – is just what he needed. He needs this connection.

Looking at Lex now, no one would ever know just how sick he'd been.

"You know, I was actually just thinking about you. Something I read reminded me of you," Clark says as he slightly raises the book resting on his lap.

"I really hope you're not reading 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' again, because it would be really awkward if that book reminded you of me," Lex says with a wicked little smirk on his face that Clark at one time thought he might never see again.

"No, Lex, " Clark chuckles "that's not what I'm reading. I hope you know you're weird."

"I've been called worse," Lex says as he reaches over and turns the book to the cover to reveal the title.

A moment of silent reflection passes between the two men as the importance of the title and how it relates to their friendship occurs. Clark breaks the silence. He knows that Lex won't know how to.

"It's a book of stories about legends. It's about challenges and how the characters deal with them. It just made me think of that day you came over and told me to trust you. You said that our friendship would be the stuff of legend. I was thinking about how we almost lost that when we didn't get along for a while and again when you got sick. They're good stories," Clark says as he looks down at the book.

And for just a little while longer, Clark continues to sit in his quiet loft with his thoughts and his friend beside him.

Change is a constant. Some are for the better, and others are for the worse. But they all have one thing in common. There is always something to be learned from them.

* * *